We Had No Clue What We Were in Store for This Year…and Life Will NEVER Be the Same….

A year so unlucky, I refuse to even type the year in numbers in this blog…however; everyone knows what year I am referring to.  “The year of the pandemic, the year COVID-19 took over the world and changed everything.” 

And no, this year isn’t over yet – so hold on to the handrails on your roller coaster.  If things weren’t worse enough, I lost my mom this year…she was in the hospital for almost 2 months and lost her battle with cancer.   

Even though it’s been one of the most challenging years for me personally…I believe that everything happens for a reason. 

Challenges and struggles will always be present in life….sometimes more than others…but it’s how you PERCEIVE them that will determine your outcome…use each struggle as a life lesson to become stronger.

1. You Realize Who Your Real Friends Are:

You realize who your real friends are:  in life, we come across many people and friends who cross our paths; some are genuine friendships that last a lifetime.  These are the friends who will always be there for you when you need them….UNCONDITIONALLY….these are the friends that will lift you up when you are down….these are the friends that will support your endeavors.  These are friends that will never judge you.  They will be forgiving if there is an argument or fight and they will always push you to be the best person that you can be.  These friends are hard to find and come far and few between, so definitely cherish these types of friendships and let your friends know that you appreciate their friendship and love them! 

2. You Realize Who Your “Fake Friends” Are

You realize who your “fake friends” are:  these are the friends that “pretend” to you be your friend but deep down inside they are always jealous of you or in competition. 

They send you mixed messages…yet, if you carefully listen to your instincts, actions speak louder than words. 

I will give you an example and paint a picture for you: let’s say you have a friend who is considered the leader of the pack (this person always coordinates the plans and essentially is looked up to for the best restaurant to go to or what to do next weekend.   You notice that this person randomly has restricted you on Facebook and has been planning all these excursions with “the group” but has stopped inviting you.  Yet…when they hear your mom is in the hospital they seem to be curious about the situation or be willing to talk if you need to talk….very strange…because this creates a lot of mixed messages.

So, while your instincts tell you something is wrong with this friendship but then they do something that makes you think they care.  

I will give you the short version (but if you want the whole story, comment and I can make a video about it).  Then one day you have another friend from that group that rubs you the wrong way but you are still trying to be nice. 

Basically, she reaches out to one of my best friends and asks her for “can I pick your brain for free business advice” – yes, you all know what I am talking about, right? 

So, I was supposed to have dinner with one of my best friends that I had not seen forever because I was dealing with my sick mom in the hospital for months and then grieving her loss.  So, you can imagine I was really looking forward to some quality “girlfriend time.”  

But what happened is the “can I pick your brain for free girl” wanted to join us…and I told my best friend, “I was really looking forward to catching up with you alone, can we have her meet us after dinner for drinks? She agreed and we all told this girl to meet us at the 2nd spot after our dinner. 

To My Shock, She Showed Up Uninvited 30 Minutes Earlier While We Were Still Having Dinner (She Was Supposed to Meet Us Later at Another Spot)….

Yet, she’s standing at our table and proceeds to say, oh I was just walking by and I saw you guys.

FIRST LIE: You were not just walking by, because where you were supposed to meet us was not on the way, yet you got there early from you biking over there and instead of going to the spot you were actually supposed to meet us at – you decided to be rude and randomly show up at our table – not prior warning – no text message – nothing.

In My Opinion, That Was a Bit Intrusive…But Being the Nice Person I Am, I Invited Her to Sit Down….In Retrospect, I Should Have Told Her That Wasn’t the Plan and I Was in the Middle of a Private Chat With My Best Friend.

The final straw was when this girl on top of everything else was super rude and said that “the group” had been talking about me behind my back and I wouldn’t want to know what they had to say.

Well, I will tell you what I have to say, “GOODBYE KAREN” and take your negative energy with you.

3. Learn to be Your Own Best Friend

This is one of the best things you can do! Part of being a badass, independent woman is to be comfortable with spending time alone. It is essential to learn to be your own best friend; especially now because “social distancing” or at least some level of it is alive and well. The pandemic has also caused a lot of stress and conflict for people, so unfortunately, people are consumed with their own life and problems and may be less readily available.

Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone and Go to Dinner Alone or Even Take a Road Trip…It’s Actually Quite Liberating

When you can be comfortable going out alone and doing things alone, it makes you emotionally stronger, it also gives you the opportunity to discover new interests, hobbies and aspects about yourself.

If you are scared or reluctant to go out by yourself; take it in baby steps and start with something simple, like taking a walk, or going to get ice cream. What will happen is that you will slowly realize it’s not that bad to go out alone and enjoy your own company! Before you know it, you will be enjoying dinner and drinks with the best company ever – yourself!

4. Challenge Yourself to Do Something That Makes You Uncomfortable

By challenging yourself to do something that makes you uncomfortable, you are programming yourself to be brave and to be open to new experiences and challenges. No matter what happens in life; you will always be presented with challenges…the sooner you get over the slump of trying something new….the sooner you will be able to take on anything in the world!

5. Change Your Perspective

How you perceive things is EVERYTHING!!! You MUST change your perspective in order to get through difficult times and thrive.

Our mind is such a powerful tool but quite often we let our mind take control over us rather than taking control over our mind.

How you perceive the world will equate to how you feel emotionally. It is important to remember that there things in life that we can control; and then there are things in life that are out of our control. It’s best to now dwell on what we cannot change! Focus on what you can change….focus on looking on the bright side of times.

Your Perspective Can Be Your Power or Your Prison

– Trent Shelton

DRESS: Temperly London

Hoop Earrings: Melinda Maria


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