Not everyone is a natural at how to get more of people and life; however, you can learn specific behaviors and people skills that will help you get anything you want.
You may not have control over other people’s actions but you do have control over how you react to their actions.
When I was in college they didn’t teach street smarts, life skills, or negotiation skills as part of the main curriculum. My guess is that that still don’t teach concepts similar to these.
Being able to strategically get what you want from others is a VERY valuable skill to have. It is a skill that you can virtually use every single day of your life. Whether it involves getting approval for something, or getting someone to see your point of view; you will only benefit from mastering the art of dealing with people.
Remember Sugar and Spice May be Nice…But Honey Goes a Long Way.
Have you ever experienced a rude person? How did you react? Was your initial reaction to be rude back….or were you able to pause for a moment and give it more thought? Next time someone is rude to you, pause for a moment and put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself where their rude behavior is stemming from? Could they be having a bad day? Could it have something to do with their upbringing or circumstances at home?
Kill them with kindness and watch their walls come down.
And, if you are wondering how to disarm them? Try the 3-step strategy below:
- Strike up a conversation that shows interest in them as a person
- Compliment them
- Show empathy
Learn the fine art of negotiation.
One of the most essential parts of asking for what you want is to “ask nicely.” In addition to asking nicely, you need to back up your request with supporting evidence, documentation or be able to demonstrate that you put some serious time and consideration into quantifying the reason for your request. For example: if you were negotiating a rent price for your lease renewal, you need to do your homework. You should go to the website of the property and determine how many vacant units they currently have, determine the occupancy rate and then proceed to prove your case that if they were to lose you as a tenant over a small amount; it may take them a few months to find a new tenant and that would cost them thousands of dollars more. So, it is in their best interest to accommodate your request.
Show the other party what’s at stake if they don’t see eye to eye on your initial request.
No one wants to lose money…so if they have to give up some money upfront in order to secure the future of the business…that is a sound business decision.
Always be able to back up your requests and claims with proof.
Your requests are more likely to be approved by other people if you can back up your reason for wanting something with WHY it would be beneficial to BOTH parties.
You have to be able to get them to see a “new point of view” – one that didn’t occur to them organically.
Mastering the skill of getting people to say “yes” to you takes a lot of practice. So even if you really don’t need anything from anyone at the time, you should continue practicing this skill in order to become so good at it, that it becomes a part of how you think. It should begin to feel natural after awhile and the next time you are in a situation that requires a bit of negotiating, it will come naturally to you.
I would love to hear your progress, reach out to me on Instagram and leave me a message.
Dress: Trina Turk
Heels: Michael Kors
